Not Dwelling On The Past

Losing parent can be tough. 11 years ago at the age of 12 I lost my mother to brain cancer and my life after that was never the same. This time of year is tough for me because she passed away October 29th and her birthday is November 15th. It seems with the weather turning into a gloomy cold winter and this as well it seems each year around this time I get kinda down.

Even after 11 years and it still hurts. I often think about what life would be like if she were still here. I don’t think my brothers and I would have gone through the abuse or be wear I am today. There are 2 things that I always come back to when I think of this.

1st– Would my mom really wanting me dwelling over this? There is that mourning period, but there also has to be acceptance. I know there is no way my mom would want me unhappy no matter what and she would do anything for that. i should honor her by cherishing the good times we had.

2nd– The second thing I think of is something I said earlier. I wouldn’t be where I’m at today. In the twelve years I was with my mother on this earth she taught me a lot. Watching her not give up and battling with cancer taught me even more. Not only her, but seeing her not give up is a major part of who I am today.  It was Gods time for her to go because he has a plan for all of us. Maybe mine was to inform people about foster care or even about losing a parent.If this website helps a single person out there then I think there is a lot to be thankful for.

My main point is that we can’t dwell on the past. Yes I lost my mother and yes I was later abused and placed into foster care, but I’m here now and that was the past. I saw a Swedish proverb the other day that really sums it all up. “God gives every bird a worm, but he does not throw it into the nest”. You can set back and think of all the bad things that happened in the past, but better yet you can cherish the good memories you have and go on to be the greatest person you can be.

 Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only for wallowing in.–Katherine Mansfield
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