Tag Archives: bio parents

How To Get Your Kids Out Of Foster Care

It’s amazing to me how easy it is to get your kids back after abusing them. In almost every case where a child is taken out of the parent’s home and placed into foster care, the main case goal is reunification. Contrary to popular belief, the state doesn’t actually want to take kids away from their parents. So, when Social Services makes the decision to place children in foster care, they work diligently to get them back into the parent’s custody. This means it’s actually fairly easy to get your children back from foster care…as long as you do what is told to you! The problem is, some parents are not accountable for what’s taken place and won’t accept the responsibility. Getting your kids back from foster care can be as easy as… not feeding them chocolate cereal.

chocolate cereal

You may be wondering “What does chocolate cereal have to do with getting my kids out of foster care?” Well, it doesn’t specifically pertain to you, but it’s an analogy that was given to me by a therapist while in foster care. This helped me to understand the situation with my parents and why we weren’t ever making that trip back home (much to my relief). Let’s just say the reason the child was removed from your care is that you feed your child chocolate cereal. Then, one-day DFS comes in and takes your child away because they say “Chocolate cereal is bad for kids!” Now, you and I both know, that while chocolate cereal may not be the healthiest choice, it isn’t going to hurt them. If you allow it, they should be able to eat it, right? The answer is “no”. As a parent, are you really going to argue your point, just to say that “chocolate cereal is not bad” and you did nothing wrong, while your child is sitting in foster care? Again, the answer is “no!” As a parent, you would apologize and promise to never feed your child chocolate cereal again, so you could get them back. It’s not about if your right or wrong at this point, it’s about getting your child back at home with you. Or, at least, it should be.

Some parents just can’t admit they were wrong. Don’t be one of those parents. As with many real-life issues, you must admit that you have a problem before you can fix it. Why? If you don’t think it was a problem, are you going to make sure that it never happens again? Many people who get caught in something don’t come to the realization they are wrong, only to repeat the behavior, while they are learning from getting caught, on how to hide it better the next time. I think that’s something logical we can all agree upon. However, this mindset can be deadly in regards to child abuse. Also, why would Social Services place a child back into a situation where it may happen again? The answer is “they won’t!”. They will not put aside a child’s well-being just to give a parent a second chance without them proving that it won’t happen again.

I’ve also seen those parents who are upset because they “don’t like DFS disagreeing, not accepting their lifestyle, or who may be in their lives”. Too many parents chose drugs or partners over their children. That’s a fact. So, if Social Services doesn’t like your new boyfriend, are you really going to argue that he’s not who DFS thinks he is? Even with his criminal records or bad behavior? Or, are you going to do what it takes to get your child back? You think it would be an easy answer and trust me it is, but parents don’t always choose what’s best for their child. Obviously, this doesn’t go for every parent with children in foster care, but let’s be honest, they make up the majority. So, how do you get your kids out of foster care? It easy! Accept your wrongs, make improvements and put your kids before you!

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